One thing I’m learning to love about being sober is at the end of a really crappy day (Translation: It was just an ok day but my hypersensitive nature and over-dramatic-ness makes me believe it’s a really crappy day) is at the end of the day, I’m freaking sober.
I love that. And nothing and no one can take this super precious state of mind from me. Except a drink. But I don’t want to drink, which is absolutely insane! (in a really good way)
Oh and I saw a wine commercial today and the people were all happy and laughing and having a good time, throwing their heads back, picnic blanket on the beach, and I am not lying when I say this-my immediate thought was “Bullcrap!, That is NOT what that stuff does to you!” Ok maybe for 20 minutes or at the longest 30 minutes but, seriously, any euphoria disappears after that. I know because I tested it after reading The Naked Mind several months ago. And she points that out in the book and I was like, No way! But ya’ll, its true. After maybe 20 minutes, the euphoria is gone and all that’s left is the chase and drowsiness and the inability to relate to anyone on the planet in a healthy emotional way. Yes, alcohol. That’s what you freaking do and I’m calling you out on it because I have a feeling my brain might want you soon and I just want it to be prepared and know the truth.
I’m trying to figure out why my day was just “okay” and not “great” like the last few days but I honestly don’t know. And maybe I don’t need to figure it all out. Maybe it’s ok that I’ve joined the human race that’s not getting drunk and high and that have ok days and they remain ok and that’s ok! 😉
To all the people struggling, I’m praying so hard for you tonight. I ache for you, I really do. I have been there and it would only take a second to get right back there. But keep trying. Keep reaching out. The first 3 weeks I was sober were excruciating. It’s not easy now but it’s worth it. I’m a world away from were I was just 10 days ago and I know that it will only get better from here.
Love & Hugs 🙂