31 Days…

One thing I’m learning to love about being sober is at the end of a really crappy day (Translation: It was just an ok day but my hypersensitive nature and over-dramatic-ness makes me believe it’s a really crappy day) is at the end of the day, I’m freaking sober.

I love that. And nothing and no one can take this super precious state of mind from me. Except a drink. But I don’t want to drink, which is absolutely insane! (in a really good way)

Oh and I saw a wine commercial today and the people were all happy and laughing and having a good time, throwing their heads back, picnic blanket on the beach, and I am not lying when I say this-my immediate thought was “Bullcrap!, That is NOT what that stuff does to you!” Ok maybe for 20 minutes or at the longest 30 minutes but, seriously, any euphoria disappears after that. I know because I tested it after reading The Naked Mind several months ago. And she points that out in the book and I was like, No way! But ya’ll, its true. After maybe 20 minutes, the euphoria is gone and all that’s left is the chase and drowsiness and the inability to relate to anyone on the planet in a healthy emotional way. Yes, alcohol. That’s what you freaking do and I’m calling you out on it because I have a feeling my brain might want you soon and I just want it to be prepared and know the truth.

I’m trying to figure out why my day was just “okay” and not “great” like the last few days but I honestly don’t know. And maybe I don’t need to figure it all out. Maybe it’s ok that I’ve joined the human race that’s not getting drunk and high and that have ok days and they remain ok and that’s ok! 😉

To all the people struggling, I’m praying so hard for you tonight. I ache for you, I really do. I have been there and it would only take a second to get right back there. But keep trying. Keep reaching out. The first 3 weeks I was sober were excruciating. It’s not easy now but it’s worth it. I’m a world away from were I was just 10 days ago and I know that it will only get better from here.

Love & Hugs 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “31 Days…

    1. It’s so bittersweet, isn’t it? It’s like really hard but it’s really awesome at the same time. I was sober for over 3 years one time and it was a huge blessing, don’t get me wrong. But…I was still envious of others who drank and got high. But thankfully I’m not now. That’s just so cool to me! We can do this!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was almost 90 days in back in April. But for the previous 10 years, my drinking was pretty normal. I always get a kick out of people that say there life was never good until they went to AA…I’m like my life rocked at one time and then went to crap…I had something to compare it to

        Liked by 2 people

  1. As someone who at 12 years of age started with drugs and alcohol, the 3 month mark for me always sends me a signal. Of boredom. I was ‘wired’ for excitement… first with my drunken father’s violence than my teenage rebellion and then… my often sought times of numbness- for what- I didn’t know- you can’t know what you need if you don’t get it. But the journey is knowing you have it all inside of you- nothing outside of you can give you what you need. Now I do believe we as humans are hard wired for our Creator- and that is what we are looking for. Peace is different from excitement- what I know I need to remember when I think I feel – ‘eh’ or ‘dull’ is that what I don’t need is excitement- I need to get still and connect with why I am not comfortable with the ordinary. I need to forget about myself and make someone feel better and loved. There is so much need in this world. You are awesome GU!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are doing great! I know exactly that feeling after the drink settles in. Yuck. It’s a terrible feeling. In fact, it’s the exact feeling that sends me racing to the liquor store to buy more- yikes. I forget about these things. See… now my OK day got better because you reminded me how sucky it was to drink. 😉 xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every day can’t be great…that would be boring!
    Okay is awesome.
    Those first weeks suck. But you never need to do them again!

    It took me a long time to get used to just being. Yoga changed it all. I never, ever expected that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve been thinking about doing Yoga. Last time I got sober, I got into running. Actually lost over 70 lbs running, eating right, and strength training a few days a week. I actually did Hot Yoga once with a friend last year and it was hard but good.

      I say all that to say and ask this…I’m more of a loner exerciser bc it’s deeply personal and enriching to me on many levels. Do you have any good recommendations for video Yoga to purchase or YouTube Yoga? Thanks 😊

      Like

  4. Great post – and I too love that feeling at the end of the day when I’m sober – it’s not got old yet. Not once have I thought “ooh I so wish I’d had a drink (or eight) tonight”. I know what you mean about seeing the advert as bullshizzle – for me it’s as if the scales have fallen from my eyes this time. I see it for the fraud it is. I’m so glad you’re feeling strong and you’re through the early-days crap now 🙂 Red xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I had to reset my idea of “boring” with the idea of possibility. So now, instead of ordering a drink for instant excitement, I have the opportunity to fill the void with something I love doing. That is the challenge: finding out what you love or what gratifies you, and then doing it. That’s not as easy as it sounds because we are so out of practice that we lack the basic skill of, say, buying an oil painting set or registering for a yoga class. We are so used to the excitement coming to us and the false 20 minutes of “high” that searching for our true passion and calling in life seems like a lot of work.
    It’s funny how often that what I write about in someone else’s blog is exactly what I needed to hear. At 9 months’ sober, I am still struggling to fill the gap of downtime. I’ve come to enjoy it, however, and relax into it. I think of it as peace instead of boredom.
    xoxo!
    Shawna

    Like

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