The beautiful, hard road of sobriety

I have so much in my head. Today is Day 9 without alcohol. I’m nervous someone is gonna come here and read this and not stay past the first sentence. Or no one is gonna care at all. Maybe this is just for me. All I know is I have a sober penpal. I’ve been reading other sober blogs and listening to sober podcasts and now I have 9 days sober. No wine in 9 days. I feel like I sound so serious. But in reality I’m tired. I was way too busy at home today doing yard work before the freezing cold comes in tomorrow. I’m not usually this responsible unless ive taken diet pills or even a pain pill.(ha!)  Which I haven’t had in several months. But anyway I’ve been drinking for the past several years AFTER being sober for over 3 years. I’m doing this blog anonymously but my thoughts and heart will be sincere. This is the way others, who have been my sober support for NINE DAYS 🙂  have done it and this is what I’m gonna do to.

I’ve learned its the simple things that keep me sober. Treats (a new candle, a bath, taking a nap, going to bed early, ordering take-out), self-care, going against what my brain wants to do-drink now, drink bc its 4 pm, drink because I’m breathing-, and just taking it one day at a time. One hour at a time. Ive found things that sound way too ridiculous to help, really do help. Sorry my first is boring. If you come and read, please leave a comment letting me know you came. I’m here for support. And maybe even to be a support to someone else.

So far, I have so much more peace than Ive had in a very long time. Being sober has become like a security blanket for me. I’ve tried for several years to stop and never thought I would ever say anything like that. I loved the way alcohol made me feel for a long time. But the hangovers and the guilt and shame became, thankfully, unbearable. It’s not easy. But it’s really good. And I’m very grateful for this hard, beautiful road I’m now on. I really am.

Love, Wynn 🙂

 

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9 thoughts on “The beautiful, hard road of sobriety

  1. Welcome! And while I read quickly, I’m posting on your first post to let you know I read all of them, and I’m excited for your journey. 3 years sober! That’s great, and you KNOW you can do it again, for longer this time! Your words make me ache because I know that hatred and guilt so well, and I’m so proud and happy for you to be starting in the right direction. Looking forward to reading more! xo Jen

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  2. Nice to meet you Wynn! Our God is an Awesome, Magnificent God- He can turn garbage into gold. I so relate to what you’ve written – we are sisters in the Lord and warriors in the fight to become totally His and allow Him to be enough. Look forward to journeying with you!

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  3. Wynn, I went back to your first blog post. Talk about a gift to me. The sober community I am meeting is such a blessing. I may share thru the passing of time as you are doing. But sobriety is AGAIN my heart. I say “again” because I was stone cold sober for 24 years and about 5 years ago I slowly went back. But boy is it back!! I will be 70 in Feb. I want to live out my life sober. It was good place to be. So very happy to meet you. ❤

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    1. Oh Mary, addiction is so subtle isn’t it? And especially as a Christian it can seem so demoralizing. I even remember questioning my salvation at one point bc of it. Thank goodness for godly Pastors that know the Word of God and the true nature of justification through faith in Jesus by grace alone.

      So glad to meet you too! Wow-24 years! What a blessing! You certainly didn’t lose all you gained from that precious sober time, even though I’m sure it feels like it. God bless you for being here and reaching out. Praying for you today. ❤️

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