I have so much in my head. Today is Day 9 without alcohol. I’m nervous someone is gonna come here and read this and not stay past the first sentence. Or no one is gonna care at all. Maybe this is just for me. All I know is I have a sober penpal. I’ve been reading other sober blogs and listening to sober podcasts and now I have 9 days sober. No wine in 9 days. I feel like I sound so serious. But in reality I’m tired. I was way too busy at home today doing yard work before the freezing cold comes in tomorrow. I’m not usually this responsible unless ive taken diet pills or even a pain pill.(ha!) Which I haven’t had in several months. But anyway I’ve been drinking for the past several years AFTER being sober for over 3 years. I’m doing this blog anonymously but my thoughts and heart will be sincere. This is the way others, who have been my sober support for NINE DAYS 🙂 have done it and this is what I’m gonna do to.
I’ve learned its the simple things that keep me sober. Treats (a new candle, a bath, taking a nap, going to bed early, ordering take-out), self-care, going against what my brain wants to do-drink now, drink bc its 4 pm, drink because I’m breathing-, and just taking it one day at a time. One hour at a time. Ive found things that sound way too ridiculous to help, really do help. Sorry my first is boring. If you come and read, please leave a comment letting me know you came. I’m here for support. And maybe even to be a support to someone else.
So far, I have so much more peace than Ive had in a very long time. Being sober has become like a security blanket for me. I’ve tried for several years to stop and never thought I would ever say anything like that. I loved the way alcohol made me feel for a long time. But the hangovers and the guilt and shame became, thankfully, unbearable. It’s not easy. But it’s really good. And I’m very grateful for this hard, beautiful road I’m now on. I really am.
Love, Wynn 🙂